Conquest Over Fear
by Emiri
Summary: Mulder has a secret, and Scully's fighting inner demons...MSR at the end. Read and review... *puppy dog eyes*


"Mulder, where are you going?" Mulder was on his way out the door of his office as Scully was  
coming in.   
"I have somewhere that I have to be. Umm, it's a new case."   
"Well, do you have to drag me into it?" Typical Scully, Mulder thought. She was worried about  
getting dragged on some wild goose chase. "Nope. It's something that Skinner assigned to me  
only."   
"Oh." For a second, Scully looked almost disappointed. Mulder blinked, and the look was gone. It  
was probably his imagination...   
"See you, Scully. Be back later."   
"But Mulder, where are you going?" It was no use, Mulder was already out the door. Scully sat  
down in his chair. She sighed. Typical male, out the door before you could say anything. She  
had put up with it for as long as she could remember...her brother, her old boyfriends in high  
school, then her "teacher" at Quantico (he had taught her much more than medical science), and  
now Mulder. You think she'd be used to it by now. She sighed again. Stop thinking about that,  
Scully told herself. She looked around for something to keep her busy, since she didn't have any  
cases or paperwork, which was a first. Mulder's office was a mess. There were files everywhere,  
and the garbage was overflowing. Maybe, Scully could clean up a little for him. The thought  
surprised her. Almost like they were married, and she was doing the housework for him...Well,  
that just set the women's movement back 30 years, she thought to herself. Okay, what else could  
she do? Nothing. Scully wondered what case that Mulder had been given by Skinner. She could  
ask the AD, but he probably wouldn't tell her. But, what concern was it of hers anyway? Still,  
something didn't seem quite right...usually Mulder made her come, even if it was nothing more  
than examining a pile of manure for alien DNA. Why should she care that he ran off on her  
without saying where he was going or when he'd be back? Because she wanted to run with him,  
that was her problem. No matter where he went, Scully knew that she would follow. It was like  
the smoking man had said, "you would die for him, but you won't let yourself love him." That was  
weird, she had let him see right through her. Scully had vowed long ago that she would never let  
any man see into her soul like that again...   
  
****************   
  
Now that Scully thought about it, it had really started in elementary school. Her first crush had  
been a boy named Dave. He had been a grade ahead of her, and she had thought of nobody but  
him. She used to walk to the corner store before school, just to buy him candy. He had been nice  
enough to her, and he had given her her first kiss. Then, the day after they had kissed, she saw  
him with a girl from his class. He kissed Alex right in front of her. "Sorry, I don't love you  
anymore," is what he'd said. Even to this day, she could still hear that voice. God, that had been  
so long ago. Why would she think of that now? It doesn't matter, Scully told herself. It just doesn't  
matter. But, every other relationship she'd been in had ended somewhat like that, and with the  
same consequences...she ended up with a bruised and battered heart. "Never again," Scully  
said.   
"Never again what?" Scully reeled around. There stood Walter Skinner.   
"Sir, what are you doing down here?" Scully struggled to mask her surprise at being caught off-  
guard and vulnerable.   
"I came looking for Mulder," Skinner said. "Any idea as to where he is?"   
"He went off to investigate that case you assigned, sir. He didn't say where he was going, just  
that he'd be back later."   
"Oh, I see. Well, thank you, Agent Scully. When Mulder gets back, tell him that I need to speak  
to him." Skinner turned to leave.   
"Sir?"   
"Yes, Agent?"   
"Is there some way I could be of assistance in this case?"   
"No, Dana, I don't think so." Skinner turned on his heel, and left quickly. Why had he just let  
himself slip like that? He had just called her Dana. And, what the hell was Mulder doing? He  
hadn't assigned him any cases. Unless...   
  
****************   
  
Meanwhile, Scully sat down at the desk. Why had Skinner just called her Dana? That was so  
unprofessional of him. She hoped that Skinner...no, she couldn't even think that! That would be  
too strange. Speaking of strange, what was with that look Skinner had when she told him that  
Mulder was gone to work on that case? Surely, Mulder wouldn't lie to her. He wasn't like the  
other men she had loved. He wasn't going to keep things from her and betray her. No. He  
wouldn't. Scully decided to call Mulder on his cell. The operator answered.   
"This cellular customer has chosen not to take calls at this time. Please try back later."   
Now, Scully was beginning to worry. Mulder never turned his phone off. She decided to call him  
at home, just to see if he was there. Of course, the answering machine picked up.   
"Mulder, it's me. I was just calling to see if you were home. If you need any help on this  
case...you know I'm here. Umm, I'll talk to you later, I guess."   
  
****************   
  
Mulder sat on the couch, listening to Scully speak on his machine. He hated to do this to her, he  
hated making her worry. It hurt him to lie to her, and he couldn't stop thinking about all the trust  
he was ruining. But, he needed some time alone. He had to get outside his head for a while.  
That's what his basketball was for...   
  
****************   
  
Scully hung up the phone. Where was Mulder? And, why hadn't he called her yet? He always  
involved her in any case he got...Scully began to feel tired all of a sudden. She put her head  
down on the desk. I'll take a short powernap, she told herself. Nothing better to do, anyway.  
  
****************   
  
"You have to say it." The girl was there again. "Just say it, okay? I'm not gonna leave until you  
do." The girl was young, and with her fiery red pigtails and overalls she looked like Dana had  
when she was little. Or maybe, she looked more like Melissa, her sister. But, her sister had never  
been a tomboy.   
"Your heart will break if you don't say it, and then you will die. Alone. One day, you just won't  
wake up at all."   
Scully found herself almost yelling at the little girl "I'm not going to say it! There's a far greater  
chance that my heart will get broken if I *do* say it than if I don't. I'm not going to risk it! That's  
all! Now, leave me alone!"   
"Fine, I'll go for now. But, you think about what I told you. Do you really want to die without telling  
Fox that you love him?"   
"If it will have to be that way, then so mote it be. He doesn't have the same feelings that I do, and  
if I told him how I really feel...well, we know what would happen. The relationship that we have  
now would be ruined, and he would hurt me even more that way then he could now. Now, please  
just leave me be." Scully was shaken, that this little child could move her so emotionally. The girl  
knew what was in her heart, but, like a child, the girl didn't know what would happen if she  
followed her heart. "Not everything works out alright in the end. We get hurt by people we love."  
Scully could feel the tears burning in her eyes. How could this little girl have such power over  
her? All those years of being hurt by men compounded now, and she began to sob  
uncontrollably....   
"Scully! Scully!" She could feel herself being shaken.   
Scully opened her eyes. It had all been a dream. Skinner stood over her, worried. "Agent, are  
you alright? You were crying in your sleep. I...wouldn't have disturbed you, otherwise."   
Dammit. Skinner had been there again, just when her guard was down. How long had he stood,  
watching her sleep? Scully began to feel nervous. What was going through Skinner's mind? She  
quickly put the wall up, and tried to cover up her vulnerable side. "Sorry. Must have dozed off."   
"Well, I'm sorry to disturb your rest. No offence, but it sort of looks like you need a good night's  
sleep. I came looking for Mulder. I still haven't heard from him." Skinner paused, and thought for  
a moment. "Hey, why don't you go home early? I doubt that Mulder will come back today, and  
you don't have any cases to work on right now anyway." Skinner looked at Scully with concern.  
"Get some rest, Agent." Then, he left.   
Scully watched him walk away. She didn't like how Skinner always seemed to be around, just  
when she let her guard down. And, he was acting somewhat unprofessionally...almost like he  
had become infatuated with Scully. Weird. She would have to tell Mulder what she thought. That  
is, if she could ever get ahold of him.   
  
****************   
  
Skinner was more than a little shaken by finding Agent Scully like that. It was too much  
like.....but, no, it couldn't be. She had just dozed off and had a nightmare. That's all it had been.  
Poor Dana. It's not going to happen to her, Skinner told himself. You're just being paranoid.  
Skinner began to worry about Mulder, too. He hadn't heard from him at all, and he had lied to  
Scully about investigating a case. Skinner knew what a close relationship the two had, almost  
like they were siblings. And, they were also like his children...the children he never had. Almost,  
but never. No! Skinner steeled himself. That had been so long ago, he couldn't bear for the pain  
to start anew. Mulder, where are you?   
  
****************   
  
Mulder woke up on his couch. He yawned, and stretched. How could he have fallen asleep  
during that movie? Wait, what time was it? And, what day was it? He looked at his watch. It was  
10:17 pm, and it was the same day. Still Monday. Mulder thought about calling Scully. Maybe he  
should tell her where he'd really been today. But, if Scully knew that he'd gone to see a  
psychiatrist, then, she'd have to know why....and, Mulder couldn't tell her yet. But, Mulder  
decided to call her anyway. just to touch base. So, he dialed Scully's number, and her machine  
picked up. "Hey Scully, it's me," Mulder said. "I was just calling you back. I, uh, just got in the  
door now. This case I'm on still needs some finishing, so I'll see you tomorrow at work. Bye."  
Mulder hung up the phone. Hmm, he thought. She must have gone out, or else she's asleep  
already.   
  
****************   
  
Indeed, Scully was already asleep. When she had got home that evening, she had went into her  
room to change into jeans, but had instead just fell asleep on her bed. Scully was exhausted from  
those dreams she kept having. Sure enough, the little girl was back again. "Tell him, Dana. Just  
tell Fox that you love him."   
"I told you, I can't tell him that! It would ruin the delicate relationship that we have."   
"If you don't tell him soon, you'll take it to the grave with you. You can't keep up your cool,  
unflinching exterior forever, otherwise, you're going to exhaust yourself. Sometimes, you just  
have to let yourself feel things without rationalizing every move and emotion."   
"But, if you plunge headlong into something *without* thinking, you'll just get hurt badly. And, I'm  
not going to put myself through that again. It's better to avoid the pain altogether."   
"Mulder might just feel the same way...think about that."   
"Might being the key word there. What if he doesn't? Did *you* think about *that*?"   
"But, what if he does feel the same way? You never know. So, are you going to tell him or not?"  
The little girl was getting angry with Scully.   
"I know that you're just an illusion, just a part of my dream. So, go AWAY!!!!"   
"No! I'm not going anywhere. You either tell Mulder that you love him, or..."   
"Or what? You're just a figment of my imagination. You can't do anything to me!" Scully tried to  
control her dream, but it seemed that this little girl was controlling her. If only Scully could wake  
herself up...   
"You had your chance to tell Mulder. You've had 7 years to tell him how much you love him!  
Even though you'd never admit it, there's nothing you want more than to be able to just fall  
asleep in his arms, and to wake up there too."   
"Yes, but you know I can't tell him!" Scully was getting exasperated. "Just who are you, anyway?"   
"You know who I am. Last chance. Are you going to tell Mulder that you love him or not?"   
"It's not that simple. Now, leave me alone, whoever you are."   
"Why do you have to be so stubborn? Your unwillingness to do what's in your heart will be your  
downfall. If you can't tell Mulder what he means to you, then accept your punishment!"   
  
****************   
  
Mulder got to the office late the next morning. He had stayed up for most of the night watching  
more of the movies that "weren't his." He thought 'I bet that Scully will be sitting there waiting for  
me, with that certain look on her face that I just adore. Then, she'll harp on me for being so late,  
and demand to know about this case that I'm not even working on.' Mulder sighed as sigh that  
was partly happiness and partly frustration. He would just have to tell her the truth, that he had  
gone to see a psychiatrist. He opened the door to the office. Scully wasn't there! Mulder double-  
checked his watch. Yes. it was 11:25. She should have been there long ago. Mulder began to  
worry. He decided to call her house. Maybe she had a long night too. Mulder smirked. Even if  
she did have a long night, she wouldn't have been watching movies like he was...He dialed first  
her home number, then her cell. No answer on either. Mulder began to get really worried about  
Scully. It wasn't like her to just not be there. Where could she be? "Oh, Scully," he cried, "please  
be alright."   
  
****************   
  
It was high noon, and Mulder was getting frantic. Scully was nowhere to be found. He debated  
about calling Mrs. Scully, just to see if she was there. But, what if she wasn't?   
In a flash of inspiration, Mulder decided to go to Scully's apartment. Maybe she had fallen and  
couldn't get up. He drove over there, cursing the mid-day traffic. It seemed that there had never  
been more cars on the road then there were today. After what seemed like an eternity, Mulder  
got to Scully's building. He raced up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. He pounded  
on Scully's door. "Scully, are you there? Scully?" He waited for about 30 seconds before he got  
out his set of keys. He burst in the door, expecting to find Scully laying on the floor. But, she  
wasn't there. Mulder looked around the living room and kitchen. He saw that Scully's bedroom  
door was closed. He debated for a few seconds about going in. Mulder wasn't sure that he  
wanted to know what or who was behind that door. If Scully was in bed with another  
man...Mulder knew that he wouldn't be responsible for his actions if that were the case.   
But, what if she was hurt? Or worse? Mulder's protective instincts took over, and he flung open  
the door. There lay Scully, asleep. She was alone. Mulder breathed a huge sigh of relief. But,  
something was wrong? Why would Scully be dead asleep at noon on a weekday? Mulder went  
over to wake her up. Even in slumber, she was a beautiful angel. Her face was slightly frowning.  
Mulder was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her, just like Prince Charming woke up Sleeping  
Beauty. What the hell, Mulder thought. I have to seize the moment. That's what Dr. Peters had  
been telling him all along. To just let go of the inhibitions and fears, to accept the fact that he  
could freely love and be loved. Mulder leaned over and kissed her forehead. She stirred, but  
stayed asleep. He kissed the tip of her nose. Nothing happened. He leaned further over, and  
kissed her lips. He traced her cheek with his finger. Perhaps she would be mad at him, but he  
had found a way to tell her how much he loved her. Something was wrong, however. Scully  
wasn't waking up. No, she couldn't be...she was still breathing. Mulder felt her wrist. She had a  
pulse, but it was slowing down. This wasn't good. "Scully. Scully!" Mulder shouted. Suddenly, he  
didn't care how mad she would be at him for seeing her like this. He shook her shoulders.   
"Scully, please wake up! Scully!" She wasn't waking up. Mulder began to panic. Then, an idea  
came to him. Call Skinner. He didn't know where or who that had came from, but he decided to  
listen to that voice. It sounded so resolute. It knew what to do. Mulder called Skinner's private  
line. "Sir? It's Agent Mulder. Something's happened to Agent Scully."   
"Is she alright? What happened?"   
"Well, I don't know exactly what happened, but she never showed up for work today. I went to  
her apartment, and she's here. But, she's sleeping, and I can't wake her up!" Mulder was almost  
sobbing.   
"Hold on, Agent Mulder. Just hold on to Agent Scully. I'll be right there."  
  
****************   
  
Skinner punched the wall. Damn. How? And, why Agent Scully? If he lost her, he didn't know  
what he'd do. "Oh Dana," he sighed. "Hang in there. I'll save you this time, I promise." Somehow,  
he had known that this was going to happen again, someday. God, that had been so long ago. It  
was better just to forget that it happened. It was better to pretend that he never had any children.  
But, who was he really fooling. It hurt just as much now as it did then. He had lost his daughter to  
this, this dream eater. She was two when she died, and her name had been Dana as well. She  
had also had red hair...Skinner's eyes went misty. It had been too late for her. The creature had  
already sucked away too much of her spirit by the time they found help. But, Skinner was going  
to save Scully. He had to. For her, and for his baby daughter...he prayed that Scully would be  
strong enough to fight.  
  
****************   
  
At Scully's apartment, Mulder was still holding Scully. He had tried cold water, ice cubes,  
everything he could think of. Nothing would wake her up. "I don't know where you are, Dana, but  
wherever it is, I'm with you. And, somehow, I'll bring you back to me. Skinner is coming, and  
somehow, he knows how to help you." Mulder kissed her forehead again. He felt bad, because in  
a way, this was taking advantage of her. "Please, Scully, wake up. I love you." There. Mulder had  
said the words. Scully mumbled something in her sleep. "I can't say that to him. What if he hurts  
me?" Poor Scully, Mulder thought. Something was antagonizing her in her sleep. Whatever it  
was, he wanted to kill it.  
  
****************   
  
Scully could feel her body being lifted. She willed herself to open her eyes, but she could not.  
The little girl laughed evilly. "Going somewhere so fast? Going back to the world of Mulder? If  
you can't tell him how you really feel, is it really worth it to be with him?"  
"Yes," Scully said. "Just to be near him is enough for me. We have our moments, and we can  
communicate without saying a thing."  
"Too bad you love him so much, because you'll never see him again now. You had your chance.  
But, by arguing with me, you've made me strong enough to steal your soul. You're so weak, you  
didn't realize just HOW weak you actually are. That *wall* you put up is nothing." With that, the  
little girl began to grow into a hydra. "Not so innocent now, am I?"  
"NO! " Scully screamed "NOOOOO! MULDER, HELP ME!"  
  
****************   
  
Mulder heard Scully cry his name. "I'm here! Scully, I'm here!" Mulder held her hand. What was  
going on inside her head right now? Could she feel his presence? Just then, Skinner came into  
the apartment.   
"How is she?'  
"She's beginning to cry out in her sleep. What's wrong with her, sir?"  
"I"ll explain that later, just do as I say for now."  
"How do I help her?"  
"Take these." Skinner held out a bottle of sleeping pills. "You have to fall asleep too, and get  
inside her dream."   
Mulder laughed. Of all the X-flies he'd investigated, of everything he'd seen, this was the most  
ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.  
Skinner slapped him across the face. "Listen to me, Agent. If you want to save Scully, you have  
to get into her dream, and you have to defeat the monster in it. I'm not sure exactly how to do  
this. Just give the monster what it says it wants, which is something that Scully wouldn't want to  
do. But, be careful." Skinner suddenly hugged Mulder. "I don't want to lose my two top agents."  
Mulder took the bottle of sleeping pills from Skinner, and swallowed 4. He lay down beside  
Scully, and was soon asleep. Skinner watched the two agents sleep. Come back safely, he  
silently willed.  
  
****************   
  
Skinner watched the two agents sleep. Once again, Scully moaned something in her restless  
state. Skinner cursed. That meant she didn't have much time left. An hour or two at the most. He  
just hoped that Mulder could get into her dream. It was risky, and he wasn't sure if it could be  
done, but it was the only chance for saving Scully. He prayed that they could beat the monster in  
time, and that Scully would have some strength left. If only...  
Scully had become the daughter he never had, the one who had never grown up. His daughter  
would have been about her age, too. Skinner began to cry, for the first time in a long time. It had  
been too long. Skinner couldn't remember when he had last cried. He just sat there, letting the  
tears flow down his cheeks. It was a release for him, a release of all the fears and pain he had  
kept hidden away for too long. And, as he cried, a war was being fought.  
  
****************   
  
"Your chance to save yourself," roared the hydra to Scully "is going, going, gone. It's fun to steal  
souls from you humans. You're far too stubborn to realize what's good for you, and by the time  
you do realize, it's too late. You're so easily blinded by petty fears and emotions. You think that  
you're in control of your life, but your feelings are what controls you. Pathetic."  
"No," said Scully. "I'm not going to let you have me. I'm not going to let you beat me. I'm not  
giving up, and I'm not going to die! You know what, I love Mulder! There! I said it! And, that's why  
I'm not going to give up, because I would be alone without him. And, I'm more afraid of being  
truly alone than of being hurt. Just you wait. Mulder is going to come and save me!"  
"Damn right I am!" Scully reeled around. That voice was a godsend. Behind her stood Mulder.  
She ran to him.  
"Mulder! I don't know what's going on here. I know that I'm dreaming, and that I can't wake myself  
up. This thing says that it's going to suck out my soul."  
"Yes, Scully. It's a dream-eater. Skinner told me about it. We have to give it what it wants."  
"But, what it wants is my soul!"  
"No, not that. You know that I would never let anything hurt you! What else did it ask you for?"  
It would have to come out sooner or later, Scully thought. This was hardly the most opportune  
time, but she had to say it. "It...it wanted me to tell you that I...I love you, Fox Mulder! There,  
happy now, you creature," she screamed at the monster.   
Amazingly, as if on cue, the hydra began to shrink. "Auggh! No!"  
Scully could feel herself turning red, even in her dream. What now, she wondered. How would  
Mulder take the news? She just hoped that he wouldn't hurt her too much...her eyes began to  
cloud up with tears, and she turned away from him.  
Mulder grabbed her shoulders gently, and turned her around. He held her close to him, and  
kissed her forehead.   
"I love you, too, Dana Scully. For seven years, I have waited for this moment." As if he had read  
her mind, he said, "and, I would never hurt you. I would die before I would hurt you." He lifted up  
her chin with his thumb. They locked eyes for a moment, and then they kissed. As their lips  
joined into an unbreakable seal, the last bit of loneliness in their hearts disappeared, and their  
worlds were joined forever.  
and, the hydra in the background withered away into nothing and died. It's last glimpse was of  
Mulder and Scully giving in to their ultimate weaknesses.  
  
****************   
  
Scully was the first to wake. She opened her eyes, and was surprised to see Skinner sitting  
beside the bed. What was he doing here? She looked to her left, and saw Mulder sleeping  
beside her, his head resting on her silk pillowcase. She searched her mind for some reason why  
they would be in her apartment, but found none. All she could remember was coming home last  
night. She must have fallen asleep in her clothes...   
"Umm, Sir?" she asked. "What are you doing in my apartment?" She took a closer look at  
Skinner. His eyes were red and puffy. "And, you've been crying! What's the matter?"  
"It's none of your concern why I'm crying, Agent Scully. But, I came here with Mulder. You fell  
victim to a dream-eater, and he went into your dream to save you."  
Scully found this hard to swallow. "A dream-eater? Really?" She raised an eyebrow. Well, if  
Skinner had said so, then it must be true...but why wouldn't she remember anything?  
She found herself in Skinner's embrace. "Thank god Mulder saved you in time, Dana."  
"Hey, hands off my woman," Mulder mumbled sleepily. "I'm the one who should be hugging her."  
Scully weaseled out of Skinner's hold, and gave her best *look* to both men. "Who said I was  
your woman?" she asked Mulder, "and, sir, could you please go into my living room?"  
Skinner was already turning red. First his bald head, then his ears, then his cheeks. His whole  
face was red, and he mumbled something.  
"Pardon, sir?" Scully said.  
"I said, I"m sorry for acting so unprofessionally, Agent. It's just that...you remind me of someone I  
knew." Skinner got a look in his eyes that showed pain and heartbreak. "I'm going back to the  
Bureau now. You two take the rest of the day and tomorrow off."  
"Thank you, sir."  
Skinner left, and Scully turned to Mulder, who was fully awake now.  
"Mulder, what the hell happened?"  
"You don't remember anything, Scully?"  
"No, just coming home last night. Everything from there on is a blank."  
"Well, I don't know if I can explain everything, Scully, but I basically came into your dream, saved  
you, and woke you up, just like Prince Charming."  
"Yes, but then why did *I* wake up first?" Scully had a teasing look in her eye.  
"I don't know...maybe I kissed you and went back to sleep myself."  
"Sure, Mulder. Hey, how's that case you're working on?"  
"So, you don't remember anything about the dream, then?"  
?Nope, o changer of topics."  
"And what do you mean by that?"  
"Well, I asked you about your case, and you asked me a question in return. You tried to change  
the topic!"  
Mulder grabbed the pillow he had slept on, and waved it threateningly. "I'll tell you, but if you  
laugh, then be warned..." Then, Mulder told Scully that there was no case.  
"So, you lied to me Mulder?" The teasing look in Scully's eyes was gone. It had been replaced by  
one of hurt.  
  
****************   
  
Damn, Scully thought. Why do I do this to myself? I let myself trust someone, and then they hurt  
me. She looked at Mulder. This was the only time in seven years that she could remember him  
blatantly lying to her. Maybe he had a good reason...and that's what I've said every other time a  
man has lied to me, she told herself. Scully couldn't stand to look at Mulder anymore. "Out."   
"What?"   
"Get out of my bed Mulder. Get out of my apartment." Scully said it with all the ice and  
vehemence she could muster, while all she wanted to do was curl up in Mulder's arms and cry.   
"Why, Scully? What did I do?" Mulder got a sad-puppy look on his face that tore at her heart. "I'm  
sorry for lying to you about working on a case. But, there was somewhere I had to go...I'm sorry  
Scully."   
"I don't care, Mulder. Just leave, please."   
"Don't you even want to know where I was?"   
"I'm tired, Mulder. Whatever happened with that thing in my sleep, well, I'm tired. So, please  
leave."   
"Okay, Scully. I'm going to go now. Call me later if you want to talk."   
  
****************   
  
Mulder sat by the phone. He looked at his watch. It was 46 seconds later than the last time he  
looked, and three hours, two minutes, and 32 seconds from when he had left Scully's. That look  
on her face....he felt so bad. No bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates would be enough. Then  
again, Scully was never the type that you could buy with material things. Mulder just wanted to  
take her in his arms and kiss away everything that was wrong. He wanted to hurt whatever hurt  
Scully. But, *he* was what hurt Scully...so, he punched his wall in frustration. Oww...that *did*  
hurt. It hurt a lot. His knuckles began to throb. Mulder got some ice from his freezer, and sat  
down again, watching the phone.   
  
****************   
  
Scully lay in her bed, in the exact same place that she had been since Mulder left. Why had she  
been so mean to him? Scully knew that she reacted out of hurt and anger, but still...Mulder  
hadn't deserved that. She had never kicked him out of her apartment, ever. And now...   
Scully felt a tear slide down her cheek. Oh, Mulder. She wanted to just call him and apologize.  
She wanted him to come and take her in his arms. God. That would be so weak, so resigning.  
Scully knew that she could never do that. But, she stared at the phone just the same, knowing  
that he was only a phone call away...   
  
****************   
  
Mulder's hand began to hurt more and more. Maybe he had broken something. But, what did it  
matter? He went into the bathroom, and wrapped his fingers together with some gauze. That  
should be fine. Just as he was about to sit down, the phone rang. He jumped up to get it.   
"Hello," he said, hoping and praying that it was Scully. Nobody answered. "Hello? Hello?"   
Mulder hung up the phone. He decided to call Scully, just to see if it was her.   
  
****************   
  
Scully's phone rang just as she was putting it down. "Hello?"   
"Scully, it's me."   
"Mulder."   
"No, it's the pope."   
Scully scoffed at his sarcasm. "Mulder, what's up?"   
"Nothing. The phone just rang. I was hoping it was you."   
"Oh."   
"Umm, what are you doing, Scully?"   
"Just some housekeeping."   
"Oh." There was a pause before Mulder said "Am I still banned from your apartment?"  
  
****************   
  
There was a silence on the other end. Then, Scully said "I...I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't mean that. I  
was just upset that you lied to me."   
"No, Scully, it was my fault, because I made you upset. Umm, will you be home for a while?"   
"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"   
"Just wondering."   
"Are you coming over or something?"   
"Do you want me to?"   
"I'll leave the door unlocked if you're planning on coming over."   
"Okay." She hadn't said she wanted him there, but she hadn't said she didn't, either. That was  
good enough for him. "Bye, Mulder."   
"Bye, Scully."   
  
****************   
  
Scully was relieved. The Divine had heard her silent prayers once again. Mulder wasn't mad at  
her, and now, he was coming to see her. Mulder was coming over, her place was a mess, and  
she was still in the same clothes from yesterday. Scully flew from her bed, changed in record  
time, and then tidied up a bit. Just as she made her bed, there was a knock at the door. She ran  
to answer it. There was Mulder. It seemed that he had arrived in record time.  
  
****************   
  
Scully opened the door, concealing how happy she was to see Mulder. She started to speak.  
"Mulder, I..."  
He held his index finger up to her lips. "Shhh. I have things to explain to you. Can we talk  
inside?"  
"Okay. Come on in." Scully stepped back so he could enter. As she did this, she noticed Mulder's  
hand. "Mulder, what did you do?" she exclaimed.  
"Don't worry about it, Scully."  
"Let me at least get ice for your poor hand!" At that, Scully went into her freezer and brought out  
a bag of frozen peas.   
"Yum. Green Giant," Mulder remarked.  
Scully half-smiled at his sarcastic comment. God, she's so beautiful when she does that, Mulder  
thought. He just wanted to blurt everything out then and there, but if he said too much to Scully,  
he could ruin everything. "Okay," Mulder said. "Well, umm...first of all, as you know, I wasn't  
really investigating a case..." Mulder hesitated.  
Scully looked at him, knowing how hard it was for him to confess anything. She laced her fingers  
through the ones on his good hand.  
Mulder felt the electricity in Scully's hand, and it gave him courage to go on. "When I went out of  
the office yesterday, I was going to...to a psychiatrist's." He waited for her to interject with a  
question, but none came.  
"Go on," Scully said softly.  
"I've been seeing him for some time now, and it's helped me quite a bit. Umm..."  
Scully gave Mulder a look that asked why.  
"Well, Scully, you know that we guys are no good at expressing their feelings..." Mulder grinned  
sheepishly, "and, that's what he's been helping me with. There are things that I hope to be able  
to say." Mulder stopped talking, and they both were silent. They sat there in the quiet for a little  
while. Scully's fingers were still laced through Mulder's, and neither of them pulled away.  
After a few minutes, Scully said "Sometimes, you just have to come out and say something,  
Mulder. Look, I'm really sorry for yelling at you earlier today. I was just so upset about you lying  
to me, and I took it out on you..."  
"Scully, that was *my* fault. I should have just told you right you where I was going. But, I knew  
that you'd ask why, and I just didn't know if I could tell you.." Mulder's voice dropped off as he  
mumbled the end of the sentence.  
"What did you say Mulder?"  
"Well, the one thing that I've really wanted and needed to say for a long time is that...I love you,  
Dana Katherine Scully."  
"Oh, Fox." Scully realized only after she had spoke that she had called Mulder by his first name.  
He had just told her that he loved her, the words she'd been dying to hear for seven years. All of  
a sudden, her dream came flooding back. "Mulder, I love you too. And, I remember what  
happened now with that dream-eater. I was saved because of our love. We kissed, and the  
creature shriveled up and died. Right?"  
"Yes. That happened. Oh, I'm so happy that you remembered!" Mulder smiled at her, and his  
eyes were burning with passion.  
"Oh, Fox." It was all Scully could say. He loved her. "I love you so much. I've wanted to tell you  
for so long, but I couldn't. My fear of being hurt took control."  
Mulder expression changed to one of pain. "And I did hurt you. Oh, I don't deserve a goddess  
like you. You're so beautiful and smart and wonderful, and I never tell you. I wouldn't blame you  
if you wanted to go as fa.." Mulder was interrupted as Scully leaned over and kissed him. Their  
lips met hungrily. Mulder deepened the kiss, and parted Scully's lips with his tongue. Soon, they  
were involved in a tango all their own.   
Mulder tilted backwards on the couch, and then Scully was lying on top of him, her hands tangled  
in his hair. Time seemed to stop as they succumbed to their long-secret desire.  
They finally broke apart and caught their breath. Their eyes locked together, Scully traced  
Mulder's cheekbone with her thumb, then she traced his lips. "There's nowhere else I'd want to  
be," she said. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you. You are my true north." She leaned  
back down, and they kissed again. Mulder's hands massaged her back, his sore knuckles feeling  
much better. "I wish this could last forever," they said in unison. And so they lay there together,  
as their fears and doubts melted away.  
  



End file.
